{"product_id":"turn-your-gold-into-piss","title":"Turn Your Gold Into Piss","description":"\u003cp dir=\"ltr\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eDoes finding a secure place to store your hard earned gold keep you up at night? Big Banks can’t be trusted and urban burglars may strike at any time. That’s why you should turn your gold into piss! It’s the ultimate way to hide gold. Just put your ingots and bars in a bucket, add urine then drop in two our patented tablets. In 24 hours, your gold will be piss! Order now and receive a free storage jug.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":44863154225221,"sku":null,"price":349.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Gold-2-Piss-AD-IG-1080x1350.jpg?v=1775858159","url":"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/products\/turn-your-gold-into-piss","provider":"The Onion Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}