{"product_id":"demon-free-t-shirt","title":"EMERGENCY Demon-Free T-shirt","description":"\u003cdiv aria-setsize=\"-1\" aria-labelledby=\"primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-sender primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-message_text primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-alt_text primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-date_time primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-reaction_count primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-reply_count primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-link_count primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-attachment_count primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-has_draft_reply primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-pinned_state primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-edited_state primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-later_state primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-broadcast_state primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-broadcast_thread_root_message primary-D0AU3FLJ63U-1783713483.136919-translated_state\" id=\"message-list_1783713483.136919\"\u003e\n\u003cdiv aria-roledescription=\"message\"\u003eTell that bitch of a ex-wife that a certified demonologist says you are 0% demon with this special edition \"Emergency\" shirt in support of InfoWars. How dare she take your horse? That's your horse, goddammit!\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% Ring spun Cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Vintage-soft feel\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"White \/ XS","offer_id":45371921006661,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":45371921039429,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":45371921072197,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":45371921104965,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":45371921137733,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":45371921170501,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":45371921203269,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Screenshot2026-07-17at4.02.43PM.png?v=1784324134","url":"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/products\/demon-free-t-shirt","provider":"The Onion Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}