{"title":"T-Shirts from The Onion","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"i-appreciate-the-muppets-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'I Appreciate The Muppets' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XS","offer_id":41712797909061,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ S","offer_id":41712819732549,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ M","offer_id":41712819765317,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ L","offer_id":41712819798085,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XL","offer_id":41712819830853,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41712819863621,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41712819896389,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/I_Appreciate_Muppets_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761579"},{"product_id":"jesus-is-my-health-insurance-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Jesus Is My Health Insurance' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":17247221547075,"sku":"9852024","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":17247221612611,"sku":"5377931","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":17247221710915,"sku":"6710913","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":17247221776451,"sku":"6016258","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":17247221841987,"sku":"2506616","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":17247221907523,"sku":"6009136","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":17247221940291,"sku":"8324717","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Jesus_Is_My_Health_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal.png?v=1723761667"},{"product_id":"drugs-win-drug-war-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Drugs Win Drug War' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":17247276826691,"sku":"9346336","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":17247276859459,"sku":"3628176","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":17247276892227,"sku":"5948290","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":17247276924995,"sku":"7549303","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":17247276957763,"sku":"6258592","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":17247276990531,"sku":"1759906","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":17247277023299,"sku":"9795397","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Drugs_Win_Drug_War_SHIRT_HeatheCharcoal.png?v=1723761508"},{"product_id":"man-walks-on-moon-t-shirt","title":"'Man Walks On Moon' Front Page T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41741849231429,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":31821784580165,"sku":"3221950_6948","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":31821784645701,"sku":"3221950_6949","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":31821784678469,"sku":"3221950_6950","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":31821784711237,"sku":"3221950_6951","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":31821784744005,"sku":"3221950_6952","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":31821784776773,"sku":"3221950_6953","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Holy_Shit_ODC_Folded_Shirt-HeatherGrey.png?v=1718327258"},{"product_id":"your-favorite-sports-team-onion-headline-t-shirt-1","title":"'The Sports Team From My Area' Onion Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis light weight cotton t-shirt is soft with the perfect amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering on both men and women. The shirt has side-seams and shoulder-to-shoulder taping to ensure it keeps its shape.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":17444065935427,"sku":"8094499","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":17444065968195,"sku":"5036963","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":17444066000963,"sku":"4708070","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":17444066066499,"sku":"6270926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":17444066132035,"sku":"1492404","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":17444066164803,"sku":"3335211","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":17444066197571,"sku":"7876305","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/The_Sports_Team_SHIRT_HeatherGrey.png?v=1723761573"},{"product_id":"jurisprudence-fetishist-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Jurisprudence Fetishist' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":18106430586947,"sku":"4443782","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":18106430619715,"sku":"1736885","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":18106430652483,"sku":"5450758","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":18106430685251,"sku":"3884524","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":18106430718019,"sku":"6707860","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":18106430750787,"sku":"6088910","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":18106430783555,"sku":"7933020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Jurisprudence_Fetishist_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal.png?v=1723761540"},{"product_id":"i-think-i-know-cpr-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'I Think I Know CPR' Onion Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106881998915,"sku":"3268735","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882031683,"sku":"7561867","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882064451,"sku":"4759625","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882097219,"sku":"1296688","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882129987,"sku":"9057045","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882162755,"sku":"2213475","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Red","offer_id":18106882195523,"sku":"3164257","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Stand_Back_CPR_HeatherRed.png?v=1723761500"},{"product_id":"apology-screamed-t-shirt","title":"'Apology Screamed' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Red \/ XS","offer_id":31048619589701,"sku":"4922218","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ S","offer_id":31048619655237,"sku":"7719759","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ M","offer_id":31048619720773,"sku":"2508140","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ L","offer_id":31048619786309,"sku":"4599231","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ XL","offer_id":31048619851845,"sku":"2883315","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":31048619917381,"sku":"4302773","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":31048619982917,"sku":"6196143","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Apology_Screamed_SHIRT_HeatherRed.png?v=1723761569"},{"product_id":"worlds-largest-metaphor-onion-front-page-t-shirt","title":"'World's Largest Metaphor' Front Page T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41741850116165,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":31051577786437,"sku":"9764319","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":31051577819205,"sku":"2914432","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":31051577851973,"sku":"6558615","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":31051577884741,"sku":"6428493","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":31051577917509,"sku":"8257095","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":31051577950277,"sku":"5877794","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Worlds_Largest_ODC_Folded_Shirt-HeatherGrey.png?v=1718327299"},{"product_id":"coworkers-agog-as-employee-introduces-new-shirt-into-rotation-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"Coworkers Agog As Employee Introduces New Shirt Into Rotation Onion Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XS","offer_id":41718114484293,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ S","offer_id":31242868719685,"sku":"5860239_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ M","offer_id":31242868752453,"sku":"5860239_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ L","offer_id":31242868785221,"sku":"5860239_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XL","offer_id":31242868817989,"sku":"5860239_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":31242868850757,"sku":"5860239_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":31242868883525,"sku":"5860239_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Coworkers_Agog_SHIRT_HeatherDenim.png?v=1723761711"},{"product_id":"history-sighs-repeats-itself-onion-headline-t-shirt-1","title":"'History Sighs, Repeats Itself' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"notranslate\" style=\"all: initial;\" data-mce-style=\"all: initial;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"notranslate\" style=\"all: initial;\" data-mce-style=\"all: initial;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":31521578549317,"sku":"5114746_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":31521578582085,"sku":"5114746_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":31521578614853,"sku":"5114746_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":31521578647621,"sku":"5114746_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":31521578680389,"sku":"5114746_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":31521578713157,"sku":"5114746_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41718057500741,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/History_Sighs_SHIRT_HeatherGrey.png?v=1723761647"},{"product_id":"area-woman-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Area Woman' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Teal \/ XS","offer_id":41718140665925,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Teal \/ S","offer_id":31586875736133,"sku":"2478580_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Teal \/ M","offer_id":31586875768901,"sku":"2478580_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Teal \/ L","offer_id":31586875801669,"sku":"2478580_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Teal \/ XL","offer_id":31586875834437,"sku":"2478580_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Teal \/ 2XL","offer_id":31586875867205,"sku":"2478580_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Teal \/ 3XL","offer_id":31586875899973,"sku":"2478580_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Area_Woman_SHIRT_Teal.png?v=1723761693"},{"product_id":"area-man-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Area Man' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XS","offer_id":41718112452677,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ S","offer_id":31587018473541,"sku":"9323161_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ M","offer_id":31587018506309,"sku":"9323161_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ L","offer_id":31587018539077,"sku":"9323161_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ XL","offer_id":31587018571845,"sku":"9323161_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 2XL","offer_id":31587018604613,"sku":"9323161_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Royal \/ 3XL","offer_id":31587018637381,"sku":"9323161_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Area_Man_SHIRT_HeatherRoyal.png?v=1723761599"},{"product_id":"like-hell-were-all-in-this-together-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Like Hell We're All In This Together' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"notranslate\" style=\"all: initial;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XS","offer_id":31898500825157,"sku":"4950012_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ S","offer_id":31898500857925,"sku":"4950012_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ M","offer_id":31898500890693,"sku":"4950012_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ L","offer_id":31898500923461,"sku":"4950012_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XL","offer_id":31898500956229,"sku":"4950012_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 2XL","offer_id":31898500988997,"sku":"4950012_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 3XL","offer_id":31898501021765,"sku":"4950012_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Like_Hell_SHIRT_HeatherBurgundy_d87bb1e3-4153-464e-8c83-6048f69522b1.png?v=1723936761"},{"product_id":"artist-overappreciated-headline-t-shirt","title":"Artist Overappreciated Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ XS","offer_id":31898506100805,"sku":"4991734_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ S","offer_id":31898506133573,"sku":"4991734_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ M","offer_id":31898506166341,"sku":"4991734_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ L","offer_id":31898506199109,"sku":"4991734_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ XL","offer_id":31898506231877,"sku":"4991734_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ 2XL","offer_id":31898506264645,"sku":"4991734_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ 3XL","offer_id":31898506297413,"sku":"4991734_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Artist_Overappreciated_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761657"},{"product_id":"awesome-onion-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Awesome!' Front Page T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41741849755717,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":31962613186629,"sku":"7737502_6948","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":31962613219397,"sku":"7737502_6949","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":31962613252165,"sku":"7737502_6950","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":31962613284933,"sku":"7737502_6951","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":31962613317701,"sku":"7737502_6952","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":31962613350469,"sku":"7737502_6953","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Awesome_ODC_Folded_Shirt-HeatherGrey.png?v=1718327224"},{"product_id":"sickos-unisex-t-shirt","title":"'Sickos' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":41718079225925,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":31965154738245,"sku":"1134540_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":31965154771013,"sku":"1134540_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":31965154803781,"sku":"1134540_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":31965154836549,"sku":"1134540_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":31965154869317,"sku":"1134540_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":31965154902085,"sku":"1134540_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Sickos_Text_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702703"},{"product_id":"short-sleeve-unisex-t-shirt-5","title":"'Good Cop, Bad Cop Onion' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv style=\"all: initial;\" class=\"notranslate\" data-mce-style=\"all: initial;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":39271212712005,"sku":"1787550_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":39271212744773,"sku":"1787550_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":39271212777541,"sku":"1787550_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":39271212810309,"sku":"1787550_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":39271212843077,"sku":"1787550_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":39271212875845,"sku":"1787550_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":39271212908613,"sku":"1787550_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Good_Cop_Bad_Cop_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal.png?v=1723761512"},{"product_id":"vintage-masthead-t-shirt","title":"'1955 Vintage Masthead' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41718106685509,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":39316797882437,"sku":"1870015_6948","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":39316797915205,"sku":"1870015_6949","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":39316797947973,"sku":"1870015_6950","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":39316797980741,"sku":"1870015_6951","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":39316798013509,"sku":"1870015_6952","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":39316798046277,"sku":"1870015_6953","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/1955-Vintage_Masthead_Folded-HeatherGrey.png?v=1718327214"},{"product_id":"lady-liberty-patriotic-joy-t-shirt","title":"'Lady Liberty: Patriotic Joy' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":39316901986373,"sku":"9835327_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":39316902019141,"sku":"9835327_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":39316902051909,"sku":"9835327_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":39316902084677,"sku":"9835327_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":39316902117445,"sku":"9835327_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":39316902150213,"sku":"9835327_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":39316902182981,"sku":"9835327_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Lady_Liberty_Joy_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702666"},{"product_id":"lady-liberty-patriotic-panic-t-shirt","title":"'Lady Liberty: Patriotic Panic' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":39317070872645,"sku":"9754670_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":39317070905413,"sku":"9754670_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":39317070938181,"sku":"9754670_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":39317070970949,"sku":"9754670_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":39317071003717,"sku":"9754670_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":39317071036485,"sku":"9754670_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":39317071069253,"sku":"9754670_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Lady_Liberty_Panic_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702685"},{"product_id":"it-only-tuesday-headline-t-shirt","title":"'It Only Tuesday' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"notranslate\" style=\"all: initial;\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XS","offer_id":39317465497669,"sku":"2293915_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ S","offer_id":39317465530437,"sku":"2293915_4016","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ M","offer_id":39317465563205,"sku":"2293915_4017","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ L","offer_id":39317465595973,"sku":"2293915_4018","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XL","offer_id":39317465628741,"sku":"2293915_4019","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":39317465661509,"sku":"2293915_4020","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":39317465694277,"sku":"2293915_5295","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/It_Only_Tuesday_SHIRT_HeatherDenim.png?v=1723761627"},{"product_id":"the-events-depicted-in-star-wars-headline-t-shirt","title":"'The Events Depicted In 'Star Wars' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255082565,"sku":"9968523_9527","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255344709,"sku":"9968523_8451","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255377477,"sku":"9968523_8452","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255410245,"sku":"9968523_8453","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255475781,"sku":"9968523_8454","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255508549,"sku":"9968523_8455","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":39328255541317,"sku":"9968523_8456","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/The_Events_Star_Wars_SHIRT_HeatherDenim.png?v=1723761561"},{"product_id":"shit-factory-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Shit Factory' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"imperial\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950816325,"sku":"8851533_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950849093,"sku":"8851533_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950881861,"sku":"8851533_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950914629,"sku":"8851533_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950947397,"sku":"8851533_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461950980165,"sku":"8851533_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39461951012933,"sku":"8851533_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Shit_Factory_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal.png?v=1723761752"},{"product_id":"report-its-not-okay-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Report: It's Not Okay' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XS","offer_id":39548430254149,"sku":"6274043_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ S","offer_id":39548430286917,"sku":"6274043_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ M","offer_id":39548430319685,"sku":"6274043_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ L","offer_id":39548430352453,"sku":"6274043_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XL","offer_id":39548430385221,"sku":"6274043_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 2XL","offer_id":39548430417989,"sku":"6274043_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 3XL","offer_id":39548430450757,"sku":"6274043_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Report_Not_Okay_SHIRT_HeatherBurgundy.png?v=1723936756"},{"product_id":"inconveniencing-others-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Inconveniencing Others' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XS","offer_id":41718093086789,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ S","offer_id":39589889736773,"sku":"9322809_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ M","offer_id":39589889769541,"sku":"9322809_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ L","offer_id":39589889802309,"sku":"9322809_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XL","offer_id":39589889835077,"sku":"9322809_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":39589889867845,"sku":"9322809_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":39589889900613,"sku":"9322809_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Incoveniencing_Others_SHIRT_HeatherDenim.png?v=1723761703"},{"product_id":"plan-to-be-more-positive-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Plan To Be More Positive' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601424924741,"sku":"6732699_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601424957509,"sku":"6732699_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601424990277,"sku":"6732699_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601425023045,"sku":"6732699_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601425055813,"sku":"6732699_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601425088581,"sku":"6732699_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Charcoal","offer_id":39601425121349,"sku":"6732699_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Plan_To_Be_Positive_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal.png?v=1723761504"},{"product_id":"right-v-wrong-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Right v. Wrong' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XS","offer_id":40156760703045,"sku":"7392720_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ S","offer_id":40156760735813,"sku":"7392720_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ M","offer_id":40156760768581,"sku":"7392720_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ L","offer_id":40156760801349,"sku":"7392720_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ XL","offer_id":40156760834117,"sku":"7392720_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 2XL","offer_id":40156760866885,"sku":"7392720_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Charcoal \/ 3XL","offer_id":40156760899653,"sku":"7392720_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Right_V_Wrong_SHIRT_HeatherCharcoal_5bb5971a-d1e0-4cad-91a8-11e88c16952d.png?v=1723761726"},{"product_id":"true-courage-headline-t-shirt","title":"'True Courage' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ S","offer_id":40175147810885,"sku":"7663969_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ M","offer_id":40175147843653,"sku":"7663969_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ L","offer_id":40175147876421,"sku":"7663969_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XL","offer_id":40175147909189,"sku":"7663969_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 2XL","offer_id":40175147941957,"sku":"7663969_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 3XL","offer_id":40175147974725,"sku":"7663969_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XS","offer_id":40175147778117,"sku":"7663969_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/True_Courage_SHIRT_HeatherBurgundy.png?v=1723761760"},{"product_id":"i-didnt-ask-to-be-a-role-model-headline-t-shirt","title":"'I Didn't Ask To Be A Role Model' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":41712803708997,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"S \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142714949,"sku":"7967560_8451","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142747717,"sku":"7967560_8452","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142780485,"sku":"7967560_8453","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142813253,"sku":"7967560_8454","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142846021,"sku":"7967560_8455","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Denim","offer_id":40188142878789,"sku":"7967560_8456","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/I_Didnt_Role_Model_SHIRT_HeatherDenim.png?v=1723761467"},{"product_id":"no-talent-punk-t-shirt","title":"'No-Talent Punk' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":40215717544005,"sku":"5568201_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":40215717576773,"sku":"5568201_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":40215717609541,"sku":"5568201_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":40215717642309,"sku":"5568201_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":40215717675077,"sku":"5568201_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40215717707845,"sku":"5568201_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40215717740613,"sku":"5568201_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/No-Talent_Punk_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702688"},{"product_id":"latest-fad-t-shirt","title":"'*Latest Fad' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":40322160230469,"sku":"8708028_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":40322160263237,"sku":"8708028_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":40322160296005,"sku":"8708028_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":40322160328773,"sku":"8708028_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":40322160361541,"sku":"8708028_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40322160394309,"sku":"8708028_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40322160427077,"sku":"8708028_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Latest_Fad_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702709"},{"product_id":"tu-stultus-es-t-shirt","title":"'Tu Stultus Es' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" data-mce-href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41712892608581,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":41712892641349,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":41712892674117,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":41712892706885,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":41712892739653,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":41712892772421,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41712892805189,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Tu_Stultus_Es_SHIRT_HeatherGrey.png?v=1723761495"},{"product_id":"id-do-a-threesome-premium-t-shirt","title":"'I'd Do A Threesome' Premium T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather White \/ XS","offer_id":40586030252101,"sku":"9758205_9526","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ S","offer_id":40586030284869,"sku":"9758205_4011","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ M","offer_id":40586030317637,"sku":"9758205_4012","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ L","offer_id":40586030350405,"sku":"9758205_4013","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ XL","offer_id":40586030383173,"sku":"9758205_4014","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ 2XL","offer_id":40586030415941,"sku":"9758205_4015","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather White \/ 3XL","offer_id":40586030448709,"sku":"9758205_5294","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Id_Do_A_Threesome_SHIRT_MOCKUP.png?v=1717927765"},{"product_id":"ive-earned-my-midlife-crisis-premium-t-shirt","title":"'I've Earned My Midlife Crisis' Premium T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eIf you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The men’s garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":41718087090245,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":40605313204293,"sku":"7466761_15114","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":40605313237061,"sku":"7466761_15115","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":40605313269829,"sku":"7466761_15116","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":40605313302597,"sku":"7466761_15117","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40605313335365,"sku":"7466761_15118","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40605313368133,"sku":"7466761_16326","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Midlife_Crisis_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702692"},{"product_id":"coddled-millenials-premium-t-shirt","title":"'Coddled Millenial' Premium T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 65% combed ring-spun cotton, 35% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 3.4 oz\/yd² (115.3 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• 40 singles\u003cbr\u003e• Regular fit\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":40645738594373,"sku":"3230102_6584","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":40645738627141,"sku":"3230102_6585","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":40645738659909,"sku":"3230102_6586","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":40645738692677,"sku":"3230102_6587","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":40645738725445,"sku":"3230102_6588","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40645738758213,"sku":"3230102_6589","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40645738790981,"sku":"3230102_6590","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Coddled_Millennial_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702696"},{"product_id":"cartoon-sickos-premium-t-shirt","title":"Cartoon 'Sickos' Premium T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Black \/ XS","offer_id":40648596947013,"sku":"6272936_9575","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ S","offer_id":40648596979781,"sku":"6272936_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ M","offer_id":40648597012549,"sku":"6272936_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ L","offer_id":40648597045317,"sku":"6272936_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ XL","offer_id":40648597078085,"sku":"6272936_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":40648597110853,"sku":"6272936_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":40648597143621,"sku":"6272936_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Sickos_Cartoon_SHIRT-HeatherBlack.png?v=1718702713"},{"product_id":"i-enjoy-branded-merchandise-headline-t-shirt","title":"'I Enjoy Branded Merchandise' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz.\/yd.² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ XS","offer_id":41741962182725,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ S","offer_id":40847093530693,"sku":"4939675_8923","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ M","offer_id":40847093563461,"sku":"4939675_8924","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ L","offer_id":40847093596229,"sku":"4939675_8925","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ XL","offer_id":40847093628997,"sku":"4939675_8926","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ 2XL","offer_id":40847093661765,"sku":"4939675_8927","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly \/ 3XL","offer_id":40847093694533,"sku":"4939675_8928","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/I_Enjoy_Branded_Merchandise_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761530"},{"product_id":"10th-circle-of-hell-t-shirt","title":"'Tenth Circle' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Red \/ XS","offer_id":41685272920133,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ S","offer_id":41685272952901,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ M","offer_id":41685272985669,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ L","offer_id":41685273018437,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ XL","offer_id":41685273051205,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 2XL","offer_id":41685273083973,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Red \/ 3XL","offer_id":41685273116741,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Tenth_Circle_SHIRT_HeatherRed.png?v=1723761594"},{"product_id":"i-just-love-corporations-t-shirt","title":"'I Just Love Corporations!' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XS","offer_id":41702778110021,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ S","offer_id":41702778273861,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ M","offer_id":41702778372165,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ L","offer_id":41702778470469,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XL","offer_id":41702778503237,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41702778536005,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41702778568773,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/I_Just_Love_Corporations_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761678"},{"product_id":"t-shirt-4","title":"Report: Some Shirts Good, Other Shirts Not Good T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca rel=\"noopener\" href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XS","offer_id":41702809337925,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ S","offer_id":41702809370693,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ M","offer_id":41702809403461,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ L","offer_id":41702809436229,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XL","offer_id":41702809468997,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41702809501765,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41702809534533,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Report_Some_Shirts_Good_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761617"},{"product_id":"area-them-t-shirt","title":"'Area Them' T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Purple \/ XS","offer_id":41734038683717,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ S","offer_id":41734038716485,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ M","offer_id":41734038749253,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ L","offer_id":41734038782021,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ XL","offer_id":41734038814789,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 2XL","offer_id":41734038847557,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Purple \/ 3XL","offer_id":41734038880325,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Area_Them_SHIRT_HeatherPurple.png?v=1723761670"},{"product_id":"wa-vintage-t-shirt","title":"'WA-' Vintage T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"XS \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741850902597,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"S \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741850935365,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741850968133,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741851000901,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741851033669,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741851066437,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"3XL \/ Heather Grey","offer_id":41741851099205,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/WA-ODC_Folded_Shirt-HeatherGrey.png?v=1718327281"},{"product_id":"midwest-discovered-t-shirt","title":"Midwest Discovered! T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41768842887237,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":41768842920005,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":41768842952773,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":41768842985541,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":41768843018309,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":41768843051077,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41768843083845,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/MidwestDiscoveredTheOnionRAYGUnFolded_1000x_jpg.webp?v=1718987986"},{"product_id":"second-favorite-dinosaur-t-shirt","title":"'Stegosaurus Is My Second Favorite Dinosaur' Graphic T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XS","offer_id":41768865988677,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ S","offer_id":41768866021445,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ M","offer_id":41768866054213,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ L","offer_id":41768866086981,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ XL","offer_id":41768866119749,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 2XL","offer_id":41768866152517,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Burgundy \/ 3XL","offer_id":41768866185285,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Stegosaurus_Is_SHIRT_HeatherBurgundy.png?v=1723936780"},{"product_id":"empty-threats-t-shirt","title":"Empty Threats T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XS","offer_id":41768892301381,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ S","offer_id":41768892334149,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ M","offer_id":41768892366917,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ L","offer_id":41768892399685,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XL","offer_id":41768892432453,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41768892465221,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41768892497989,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Do_My_Empty_Threats_SHIRT_HeatherKelly.png?v=1723761745"},{"product_id":"the-onion-logo-t-shirt","title":"The Onion Logo T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"imperial\"\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XS","offer_id":41768898396229,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ S","offer_id":41768898428997,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ M","offer_id":41768898461765,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ L","offer_id":41768898494533,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ XL","offer_id":41768898527301,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 2XL","offer_id":41768898560069,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Kelly Green \/ 3XL","offer_id":41768898592837,"sku":null,"price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/TheOnionWebReady-Logo-Folded_1000x_jpg.webp?v=1764130438"},{"product_id":"al-capones-reign-vintage-front-page-t-shirt","title":"'Al Capone's Reign' Vintage Front Page T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003e This t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for both men and women. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz (142 g\/m2)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c!----\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41939910688837,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":41939910721605,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":41939910754373,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":41939910787141,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":41939910819909,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":41939910852677,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41939910885445,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Al_Capone_VINTAGE_SHIRT_HeatherGrey.png?v=1723761558"},{"product_id":"somehow-well-middle-manage-headline-t-shirt-1","title":"'Somehow, We'll Middle-Manage' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XS","offer_id":41989069373509,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ S","offer_id":41989069406277,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ M","offer_id":41989069439045,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ L","offer_id":41989069471813,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ XL","offer_id":41989069504581,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 2XL","offer_id":41989069537349,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Denim \/ 3XL","offer_id":41989069570117,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Somehow_Middle-Manage_SHIRT_HeatherDenim_fefebdde-04da-40a2-b9d8-54c4b19cc923.png?v=1726162802"},{"product_id":"health-experts-recommend-headline-t-shirt","title":"'Health Experts Recommend' Headline T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis t-shirt is everything you've dreamed of and more. It feels soft and lightweight, with the right amount of stretch. It's comfortable and flattering for all. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% combed and ring-spun cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 4.2 oz\/yd² (142 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Pre-shrunk fabric\u003cbr\u003e• Side-seamed construction\u003cbr\u003e• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Guatemala, Nicaragua, Mexico, Honduras, or the US\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize Chart can be viewed\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cspan class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003e\u003cspan data-mce-fragment=\"1\"\u003e \u003c\/span\u003e\u003ca href=\"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/pages\/size-chart\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"\u003ehere\u003c\/a\u003e.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"The Onion Store","offers":[{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XS","offer_id":41989071503429,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ S","offer_id":41989071536197,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ M","offer_id":41989071568965,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ L","offer_id":41989071601733,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ XL","offer_id":41989071634501,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":41989071667269,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Heather Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":41989071700037,"sku":"","price":29.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0016\/2014\/8291\/files\/Health_Experts_SHIRT_HeatherGrey.png?v=1726162786"}],"url":"https:\/\/store.theonion.com\/collections\/unisex-t-shirts-from-the-onion.oembed?page=6","provider":"The Onion Store","version":"1.0","type":"link"}