Onion Store

Subscriptions

Onion Store

I have a question or comment regarding my order. Who do I contact?: If you have questions or concerns regarding your order, please contact the Onion Store customer support department, at 1-800-280-1791 or fill out an email support form here. The email support form is often the quickest and most efficient way to receive customer support. For all subscription matters, please call 1-866-4ONIONS (1-866-466-4667) or email subscriptions@theonion.com.
What payment types does The Onion Store accept?: The Onion Store online accepts Visa, Mastercard, and American Express.
Is the store secure and will my email address be used for spam?: Yes, the store is secure. We use VeriSign to process credit cards and run a credit card authorization check during the checkout process. We respect your privacy and appreciate your readership and do not sell or share your email address with anyone else. Please see our Privacy Policy for more information.
How will I know The Onion received my online order?: All orders are confirmed by email within 24 hours. A second email will follow when your order has shipped.
When can I expect to receive my order?: All domestic orders will be shipped via either UPS or US Post 1st Class, depending on the shipping option you select at checkout. You should receive your order usually within one week of receipt of order. UPS Ground takes a few days less than US Post and is more easily trackable. Expedited delivery option via UPS 2-Day is offered at checkout. International orders will be shipped via the US postal system and may take 2-4 weeks. Only US Post can deliver to PO Boxes. UPS Ground and UPS 2-Day cannot deliver to PO Boxes. We process and ship orders Mondays - Fridays except on holidays. When selecting Shipping Options, please note 2-Day and Overnight refers to Business Days only.
Can I track or confirm my order?: You should receive an order-confirmation email shortly after your order is placed. And another email notice when your order has shipped. If you selected UPS as your shipping option, the order shipment confirmation email will include a tracking number if available. For questions about your order or shipping status, please visit the customer service page and then click the link "Check your order status" half-way down the page. Only US Post can deliver to PO Boxes. UPS Ground and UPS express cannot deliver to PO Boxes.
What are The Onion's exchange/return policies?: Prompt exchange or refund will be made when items are returned to us unworn, unwashed, and unaltered. All exchanges, refunds, losses and shortages much be reported within 10 days of receipt of shipment. Customers will be refunded for the total cost of the order if it is cancelled prior to being shipped. If the order has shipped, customers will only be refunded for the cost of the merchandise less shipping costs.
I made a mistake in my order and want to change it, what do I do?: Call customer service at 1-800-280-1791. Changes received prior to 10 am (CST) can often be accommodated if your order has not been picked and packed. If your order has already been processed, a customer service rep will provide you with return options so you ultimately end up with the Onion products you desire.
I received a coupon code. How does it work?: Place your order normally. You will be prompted for a coupon code during checkout. The discount will appear on the confirmation screen.

Subscriptions

How do I order a subscription to the printed version of The Onion?: Onion subscriptions are available online at the Onion Store or by calling 1-866-4ONIONS (1-866-466-4667).
I have a question concerning my subscription. Who do I contact?: For questions or comments regarding your Onion subscription, please call 1-866-4ONIONS (1-866-466-4667) or email subscriptions@theonion.com.
What payment types are accepted?: We accept online payments by Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. Check or money-order payments are accepted by telephone only. Please, no cash.
When can I expect to receive my first issue?: The first issue of your subscription will arrive within 4-6 weeks of your order.
How do I notify The Onion that my address has changed?: To notify us of an address change, please call 1-866-4ONIONS (1-866-466-4667).
Are subscriptions refundable?: Onion subscriptions are NOT refundable.