The Onion customer service is handled by Church of Merch.
IMPORTANT NOTE: Do not reply to the order confirmation email for any customer service issues, as you will not get a reply from that email address.
You can find answers to common questions here: http://support.churchofmerch.com
If that doesn’t tell you what you need to know, please visit Churchofmerch.com and click the contact link in the top right corner of the page. From there you will be able to fill out a Customer Service Inquiry.
One of our support staff will get back to you as quickly as possible.
We currently provide customer service support over email 5 days per week, Monday - Friday
PHONE CUSTOMER SERVICE HOURS:
Monday - Friday, 10AM to 6PM
Saturday + Sunday, CLOSED
If you have any business related inquiries, proposals or partnership related ideas, please don't hesitate to contact us at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please do not contact The Onion Editors via theonion.com. We appreciate your cooperation.